The night was brisk, and the forest was well illuminated by the moon. Two men were sitting by a camp fire. One man, clad in a black leather tunic with slicked back hair, toyed idly with a pouch on his belt. He looked at his companion.
"I never really liked Lord Patrick anyways. He was kind of a fruit loop."
The other man, dressed in rags, stared at the fire.
The man in black continued. "I don't think he actually did anything besides swirl that wine glass around and make us patrol the tunnels. And those paintings were awful."
The man in rags remained silent.
The man in black scooted closer to the man in rags. "Hey, cheer up, Bart! At least you didn't get eaten by skeletal goldfish."
"Almost." Bart hissed between what remained of his teeth.
"Yeah, well, all I'm saying is at least we're alive."
Bart turned and glared at the man in black.
"Uh, sorry, at least we're still in one piece."
"I'd still be alive if it wasn't for you, Travis."
"Look, I said I was sorry. It was just orders, I don't kill people unless strictly necessary. The guy who hired me said to take you out if do anything to blow the operation."
"I was taking a piss."
"Yeah, well, you could've seen me and alerted the security."
"You were robbing a bakery. I was the security."
Travis held up his hands placatingly. "Hey, I'm just the muscle. I do what I'm told, and I get paid. And you're still here, aren't you?"
"I'm a zombie."
"Yeah, buddy, how lucky is that! You've been given a second chance! Besides, I'm sure life as a guard was boring. Now you can live the life of excitement with your pal Travis!" Travis patted Bart on the back and grinned.
Bart slumped forward and put his head in his hands.
"What am I going to do now? That was the only place that would hire me!" Bart moaned.
"Don't worry buddy, our break's coming soon. You can count on it."
A strangle whistling noise became audible overhead. Travis looked up through the trees. "Do you hear that?" he whispered. He strained his ears, trying to make out what sounded like tiny, far off voices.
"The spell's wearing off! We're going to crash!"
"The trees be breakin' our fall! No worries!"
"They'll be breaking more than that! Grab hold of something!"
"EEEEEK!"
Tsenre, Liz, and Badger clung together tightly as they smashed through the trees, shattering branch and squirrel alike. Their descent gradually slowed from the impacts, drifting nearer and nearer to the camp fire. Liz let go of Tsenre's night gown and hit the ground in a roll. Badger jumped from Tsenre's hat and clung on to a nearby tree. Tsenre himself continued drifting towards the camp fire until the spell's magic finally exhausted itself and dropped him. He landed on the camp fire, smothering it with his bulk of clothing.
Travis stared at the smoldering wizard. He smirked. "Well, that's one way to put out a fire! Are you with the park rangers?" He then began to laugh boisterously.
"Travis, we know this guy."
"Hey, you're right. Hey, old man!"
Travis got up and pulled Tsenre to his feet.
"Wot? Wot happened?"
"You put out our fire." Bart said mournfully.
Travis grinned. "That's right, friend."
Tsenre glanced at the cinders, then began to brush himself off. He stopped and squinted at Travis.
"Do I know ye?"
Travis looked perplexed, then looked at Bart. Bart shrugged.
"Sort of?" Travis ventured.
Voices came from the distance. "Stenray? Are you over here?"
"I think he landed over there, miss!"
Liz and Badger came into the clearing.
"Uh oh." Badger said, then crawled into Liz's satchel.
"Hey! You're the creep who held me hostage with a crossbow!" Liz snapped at Travis.
Travis took a step back. "Was nothing personal miss, just following orders. Are you looking for this guy?" He pointed at the singed wizard.
"What? Yes! Stenray, are you okay?"
Travis thought for a moment, and looked at Tsenre. "I thought he said his name was Shenree."
"No, he told me it was Stenray." Liz said, then also turned towards Tsenre.
Tsenre looked back, and shrugged.
Badger popped his head out of Liz's satchel. "I think master may have some, er, mental damage. I've only been with him for a short while, but I don't think he got that spellbook and wand from a legitimate mage school."
"Huh." Travis said, then shrugged. "Well, whatever."
Liz frowned then went pale. "Wait, if you're here, doesn't that mean..." She slowly turned, and found what she was hoping wasn't there. Bart gave her a little wave.
"ZOOOMBIE!" Liz shrieked, and thrust her hand into her satchel, displacing Badger and forcing him from the container.
Bart sighed. "Miss, that's really not very polite at all." He mumbled.
"Yeah lady, calm down! He's harmless!" Travis said.
Liz frantically searched her satchel for the spray vial of holy mace.
Travis gestured at Tsenre. "Calm her down, would you? She's getting hysterical."
"Wot?"
Badger scrambled around Liz's boots. "Miss, he's harmless!"
"Listen to the badger, lady!" Travis said sternly.
"But he eats brains!" Liz hissed, still rummaging through her satchel.
"That's disgusting." Bart said, then sighed again. "Not to mention enforcing a negative stereotype."
"You're a zombie! That's what zombies do!" Liz shrieked.
"No, that's what zombies who are animated by evil necromancers do, and only because they're told to. I, on the other hand, was animated by a drunk wizard after my 'friend' here stabbed me to death."
"I said I was sorry." Travis mumbled.
Tsenre appeared beside Travis, startling him. "Where's ye wizard then?" Tsenre questioned.
"Well, he was making me dance for his own drunken amusement, but apparently he managed to set the silver hog on fire before he had gotten to me. The bartender there is a bit of a nasty sort. Came down and hit him with a cart."
"Ye mean he ran ye wizard over with a cart?"
"No, I mean he picked up a cart and hit him with it. With the wizard gone, I was cursed to roam this land as a zombie. You'd be surprised how hard it is to get employed when you have to take breaks for sewing your arm back on."
"So you aren't trying to eat my brain?" Liz asked.
"Lady, I'm dead. And I sincerely doubt brains would be at all appetizing even if I wasn't."
Liz calmed down, then looked at Bart inquisitively. "So what do you do, then?"
Bart sighed. "The same thing anyone does. I try to make a living."
Travis stifled a laugh.
"Mmm." Liz nodded. "But, wait, what happened to the vampires?"
Travis cleared his throat. "After you guys blew a hole in the roof and drifted off, some other vampire came in and ripped them apart. I don't know who it was, but he looked really pissed off. I think all the chattering and the explosion got his attention."
"What happened to the skeletons, mister?"
"Oh, well, those fell apart after you guys left. It's a good thing they did too, or else I might've been a lot shorter right now." Travis grinned. "I hid after that, because I figured Pat was gonna be really cheesed off, but then that other vampire showed up."
"Those skeletons just ignored me." Bart mumbled bitterly.
"Well pal, I don't think you got too much a skeletal hamster would be interested in... what was that?"
A twig snapped, and a growling noise came from the bushes. Wolves emerged from every direction and slowly began to pad towards the group, snarling.
(( Will the group survive their encounter with the wolves? Will Liz ever accept undead as people with feelings? Will Tsenre ever get rid of that damn night gown? TUNE IN NEXT TIME! ))
Last edited by Tsenre on Sat May 08, 2010 10:54 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Fixing typos)